Winter Backpacking Trip, with actual snow...

My brother Chris and I went on our yearly cold weather backpacking trip, our other two brothers have since decided that sleeping in the cold, after being in the cold all day, isn't quite for them.  So for the trip with them, we'll be doing something in March.  However, both Chris and I love the snow and the cold temps, not to mention the lack of crowds and bugs and made a decision to go a few weeks prior and actually followed through with the plan.

We ended up hiking the Thunder Swamp Trail, a trail in the central part of the eastern half of the state of Pennsylvania.  There's plenty of creeks and tributaries feeding them and feeding off of them to enjoy and listen to.  There's swamps to, but in the chill of winter, there's no bugs and no stink.

We chose a spot that was easy to get to Friday night, as we would be heading up in the dark and hiking in the dark, and easy to get out of Saturday morning.  Chris and I being brothers, we both met up later than we wanted to Friday night and got to the place later than we wanted to, but with no one to be responsible for besides ourselves, it didn't matter.  We met up at the park and ride, transferred gear, and made our way north west.  We arrived at the trailhead  and loaded up and made our way down the trail, literally down which meant it was easy and the next day would be uphill, but it wasn't that hard of a hike which made it not that horrifying of a morning hike out.

After an hour or so we arrived to the campsite, it was large and open with a established campfire ring.  The night sky was a deep blue and the stars were out in force.  The creek was flowing strong with the melting snow and recent heavy rains, which was nice to listen to.  We made camp, set up the campfire and had some snacks.  It was an early to bed night since we arrived so late, which was fine... a good night's sleep is always in order and appreciated.

I haven't been as cold as I was Friday night in a very long time.  For whatever reason I've never been as cold, I think the air pad I used was not insulated for the cold.  The good news, I woke to bright sunshine, warmth and a glorious day awaiting our start to the day.  We packed up around noon, yeah that's right, not early risers....  And went on our way.  A nice easy hike up to the car, to run into some morons that were out for a dayhike and couldn't resist making a comment to us about our equipment.  Being the OCD people my brother and I are, it irritated my brother for the next hour and a half, which isn't good for anyone.  Never sure why people have to go out of their way to be dicks, but they find a need to.

Saturday's hike was a wet and sloppy hike mostly downhill, with the exception of the uphill section in the first part of the hike.  Four miles later we made it to the creek and camp, there were two guys there and only one site to be seen.  They were very nice guys and we ended up talking enough that they found another site and moved there.  We had a nice fire by the creek, had a nice dinner and relaxed.

In the morning we packed up and decided that we were going to go to a short cut, well the short cut was a great idea until we passed our turn, went two miles out of the way and then got back on course.  Walla, we were back on the road within 3/4 of a mile and at the car.  Off to the waterpark to meet the family for two days of fun.

Taking the plunge, having a leap of faith....

Whatever you want to call it, I'm in it now!

I was laid off from my regular 9 - 5 job about 4 months ago.  I hated the place, hated my immediate coworker and wasn't too fond of my superior.  Even though they were all good people, it wasn't a fit for me and in actuality made me sick in terms of anxiety, stress and panic attacks.

Since I've been doing the same style job for more than 20 years, and it's really the only thing I've done, besides being a firefighter for the same length of time, I needed a change.  Sitting behind those desks for the past two decades taught me that I wanted more out of life than sitting there was going to give me, I wanted some sense of freedom.  I wanted something new and exciting and totally different than anything I've ever done.  So my wife and I decided that we were going to buy a franchise.

One day while I was getting my thirty minute sanity break (called a lunch break) I ran into a guy in a branded vehicle at the local convenience store and we talked a little.  He was a home inspector and was swamped with work.  I immediately went home and began researching the business.  My wife then began researching the business.  The decision was soon made after I got laid off, a fancy phrase for being fired, and needed work and a change of careers.

After several months of researching, talking to different franchises and contemplating, we made the plunge.  After four months, we're in the thick of it, in terms of the franchise and debt at the moment.  Every day I am trying to sell myself and the company.  The days of getting a weekly check for a set amount and annual bonuses are gone.  Now what I earn will be solely based on what I put into the company.  It's on me...  I'm the man I'm working for and I'm going to do everything in my power to get this thing running right.

So far, it's painfully slow.  I've had one presentation, scheduled a second and have been pounding on doors and the pavement to try to get business.  It's not easy.  I never thought it would be.  I thought I'd have something by this time, but have yet to get anywhere.  I'm assured it'll come.  I'm banking on it.

Sometimes taking the leap isn't as easy as an outsider might thing.  It's hard, nothing is given to you and you work your ass off for sometimes nothing.  My only hope is that all my hard work will pay off and the sooner the better.

Out with the New in with the Old

I'm a huge Jeep Wrangler fan.  Always have been.  Something about being able to cruise around with the top and doors off on a warm summer day is extremely appealing to me, almost spiritual.  That being said, it is what it is, a Jeep.  It's a rough ride, basic interior finish with some luxuries if you buy the Sahara model or up, but it still leaks on occasion, is loud on the highway and basically as aerodynamic as a brick.  But I still love them.

There's an ongoing joke in my family about how many jobs and cars I've had in my life so far, and we're adding another car to the mix.  I traded in my long sought after, two year old, Jeep Wrangler Unlimited for a five year old Toyota 4Runner.  I've always been a huge fan of the 4Runner and Toyota's in general.  I've had a standard cab Tacoma with no frills and it was a beast.  Fun to drive, great in the snow, peppy for a small truck and for the most part economical.  I bought it used and it lasted forever.

So when it came time for me to look for a vehicle to trade my Jeep in for, since it wasn't white and had to be for the business, I looked at both Jeeps and 4Runners.  Since Jeeps hold their value so well, it just wasn't worth it to try to find a Wrangler for the right price with the right options.  I'd be paying more for a vehicle with higher mileage and not nearly as every day road comfortable as the 4Runner.  So it went.  I'm sad to see it go, but I vow that in two years time I'll be looking to get back into a Wrangler, I'll buy used with the things I want and it will be what it is meant to be, a fun vehicle to take to the beach, through the snow and on the backroads of where ever I can find with the top and doors off racing towards an adventure.

Panic Attacks......

So somewhere along the line I lost the ability to deal with things well.  Over the past two years there's been an extreme increase of stress in my life, mostly starting from a very shitty job I was working at.  I normally never let the small things effect me but like drops of water on a stone, it will eventually bore a hole and that's just what my coworker and that company did.  Every day was like a painful drip, boring deeper and deeper... eventually eating away at my defenses enough to let it affect me.  In time it built up to bring on a very big panic attack, something I never felt before and it sent me to the hospital ER thinking I was having a heart attack.

I've been training my brain with therapy and mild medication to teach myself that I'm better than the fears in my head, and it's getting better.  Over a year since it started I can normally function for the most part regularly, although at times, like my therapist said, it might rear it's ugly head again.  And today, this morning it did.  It started yesterday, I just didn't feel right and I knew something was happening.  It passed but then I was restless the rest of the evening.  This morning I felt fine but then once I went to the store, I was right back in thick of an attack.  I felt like I was trapped, I wanted out of the store in the worst way but in time, knowing that it was just mental bullshit, it passed.

Part of the panic attacks which is even less pretty is the IBS I've been experiencing.  Sure it's great being regular every day but it's starting to not be fun when you experience that effect at a store and cannot just run to the potty.  It normally makes me feel immediately better, and relieves all the instant stress (which is weird in itself).

Anyway, I'm feeling like a million bucks this afternoon and have been every since the last trip to the restroom.

Of course, I'm home with the kids and that adds to the stress.  Especially when they're so clueless about the world around them and leave food on the counter instead of putting it away and letting the dog devour some hush puppies.  The common sense eludes them.  Then the stress comes back especially cause my son has no idea that he's done anything wrong no matter how many times I've told him.

So the moral of the story is this, the panic attacks will come and go, and the time to re-coop will be shorter (I'm told).  I just need to keep it in my mind that it's all in my head.

If you suffer from this issue, I feel for you cause I'm in it too.  I never used to understand how people just couldn't deal with life, well now I know all to well.

The Big Leap...

Starting my own business.  A scary thing to say... let alone do.  But I'm doing it and going to find out just what this whole thing is about.

I'm nervous as all get out as I've never done anything like this before, although I've been told by a few that I should be my own boss and I've always loved the idea of working for myself, making my own way, etc.  Actually doing it is much more "real" than talking about it.

I've been without a real, full-time job since July and although I've been collecting unemployment and trying to get work whenever I can, it's not easy.  Going from making $3000 as a family to making $1000 a month, it affects you dramatically.  I fear shopping now, even for the simple things and with starting a business it just keeps pouring out.  I know, however, with every new opportunity there comes some risk as to weather you're going to succeed or flounder.  I'm hoping I'm on the up and up sooner than later.

So here I go on another chapter in my life, just doing something to possibly get me in a better place and make something of myself, financially and business wise.

Beautiful Weekend Backpacking Trip with my Wife

My wife and I had been planning on getting out for a weekend trip together, sans kids, but with the dogs for a weekend.  Amazingly there was a weekend we could put aside and it just so happened that the weather couldn't have been nicer.  The temps were in the mid 60's with nothing but sunshine and beautiful skies.u

We drove to Harpers Ferry, WV to see  the historical town and have some lunch.  We went to the AT Conservancy and saw a Southbound Thru hiker, all 100 pounds of her stunk to high heaven but she couldn't have been happier.  I think that's the story of the AT, you might smell like shit but you're happy as can be.

This trip, more or less was supposed to be a free-spirited trip, very figure it out as we go along.  So when we got to the conservancy we spoke to a volunteer who suggested that we drive to Gathland State Park then and hike South on the AT to the Ed Garvey shelter.  It was a fairly easy trial, rolling hills as opposed to the normal PA AT hike, where you have to start straight uphill first then it levels out a little.

The Gathland SP is pretty much already up on the ridge so the hike was pretty much gentle rolling hills and very nice scenery but no real views.  Which was good for our two dogs and my wife to enjoy as opposed to being a high mileage death march of a hike.

We hiked to the Ed Garvey shelter, just after dark settled in, there were plenty of people there already.  Since we were there late, we missed out on the opportunity to get a good tent site and found one that was slightly sloped and had a few rocks and twigs.  One of those twigs reared it's ugly head in the morning and pushed through my ground cloth and tent floor...  Not a happy camper with that but what are you going to do.

We enjoyed very nice company around an already roaring campfire and eventually made our way to bed.  The stars were out in droves and it was comfortably cool enough where it's not cold.  We forgot something cozy for the dogs, but everyone made out ok.  I slept great, Stephanie was cold (somehow) which was to be expected as she's always a cold sleeper.

Our plan was to hike out and drive to PA and hike a very flat hike, however unlike any other AT trail I've ever been on, there were no campsites to be seen in four miles of pleasant farmland hiking.  The evening couldn't have been nicer, the sunset was beautiful and it got cold fast.  We decided, to turn around and head home.  We'd go out to eat and jump in the hot tub for the night.  It was a good decision and enjoyable.

I couldn't have enjoyed this weekend more, I felt like a rock star.  I felt strong, happy and confident.  It's always nice to be able to get out, feel good and relaxed and enjoy your company and surrounds.

My only regret is that we never have enough time.  But I'm trying to enjoy the time we do have and use it wisely.

Van life.....

Am I crazy, or just overly influenced by the bombarding of constant Outside Magazine articles on the way driving around a van through the world can change your life completely?  And how it can be done so easily, or so they make it seem?

My friend's and family will tell you that I'm a person who rarely is content with what they have to some point, I'm not content, I'm very happy with what I have and the life I live.  I do, however question how life could be different if I were to live it another way.  Say, packing up and traveling across the country and living out of a motorhome or van.  I see plenty of people doing it, it cannot be that crazy of an idea.

My kids and wife would love it, and so would my dogs.  We're all outdoor people and love camping, road trips, seeing new things and meeting new people.  And there's no short supply of things to see or people to meet, that's for sure.

Sadly, like most people in my shoes it's just not the right time, nor the right funding to do such a thing at this moment in our lives.  It's the ultimate and most widely used excuse but it's a good one and unless something major changes, it's the one we're using.  Not to mention my parents and two out of the four brothers would thing I was mad.

One day I hope to solely travel, but for now I think it's just going to have to be weekend trips and extended vacations as they come down the pike.